We generally refer to recovery when we talk about alcohol or drug use, yet at Beyond we believe a recovery lifestyle has so much to offer and teach us all. I stumbled upon the ‘12 Steps’ when my life was impacted by a loved one’s addiction. I have to admit, some of the happiest, most fulfilled people I have known are those in ‘recovery’ from some form of addiction, and I have to admit I was jealous! They had found beauty in the recovery process because they had to do the work required.
For those of us who are tired of feeling the way we are, aiming for more than just being ‘fine’ then perhaps we need to look no further than the 12 Steps too?
The truth is we are all recovering from something. None of us escape life’s challenges, yet so many of us cope in unhealthy ways to avoid the uncomfortable feelings. We overexercise, overeat, overspend, overwork, overdrink, overexplain, and overthink. We suffer chronic stress and anxiety, impacting both our physical and mental health. It all becomes a vicious circle, and the tragedy is we lose ourselves.
The truth is we are all recovering from something.
The promises of self-help books and pre-recorded wellbeing webinars by life coaches galore are often overrated. It turns out that not all answers to life’s problems can be found in a book, behind a screen, or in front of a mirror repeating affirmations. However, a lot of struggles can be lessened through fairly obvious (but not necessarily easy) steps: connection, gratitude, building better habits, learning, learning more, and of course the willingness to do the hard work. Grit and resilience is essential!
At Beyond our programme ’Twelve Steps to Find Your Way Beyond IT’ is for anyone seeking personal growth, fulfillment, and happiness. It is the foundation for self-reflection, self-belief, healing, and connection. It is important to remember recovery is not an event, it is a way of life. There is no final destination. There will always be more to learn about ourselves. Always.
Let’s look at Step One:
BEYOND IT
We all have an IT. The IT that is always at the back of your mind. Weighing you down emotionally and maybe physically. IT will eat you from the inside. When you think of IT you may squirm, afraid or ashamed to talk about IT. Whatever IT is, acceptance of IT is the first step to setting you free. Once you develop that ‘IT is what IT is’ attitude, a lot of things will stop troubling you and you will find it easier to move forward.
Of course, this is easier said than done, and really hard to think this way when we are struggling or broken. However, it is possible. At BEYOND we will support you to accept whatever IT is. You will focus on your current challenges, what you want to change, what you can control, and what you can’t. This step is all about accepting your IT, where you are, who you are, and where you want to be. Freeing yourself from all those secrets locked away which may be holding you back from accepting yourself, and being able to be who you truly are. Part of the process is accepting IT ‘warts and all’.
- Write IT down (this may feel uncomfortable, but this is for your eyes only).
- Write how IT makes you feel when you think about IT.
- Write how you would like your future to look without IT hanging over you.
- Write how IT has changed you (do you do less of the things you enjoy? Do you see less of the people you love to spend time with? Have you lost your self-belief? Do you trust your gut feeling? Do you blame yourself, or someone else?)
- Write how IT would make you feel if you shared IT with someone who has a similar experience.
- Write down 3 things that are working for you right now.
- Write down 3 things you would like to change in your life.
- Write down 3 things you like about yourself.
- Write down 3 things that annoy you about yourself (one of mine is consistency!)
- Lastly, remember none of us are perfect. Even the happiest people are imperfect!
If you are not ready to share IT, then burn IT or destroy IT.
One of our favourite rituals at BEYOND is gathering around the fire, signifying the end of an adventurous & transformative-filled day. The crackling flames will bring warmth to your soul, and the burning of your deepest, darkest worries will melt away as you watch them lose their power and go up in smoke.
